What a let down they were, you can usually rely on the Christmas soaps to provide some decent viewing…but what did we get this year?

Victoria falls through some ice. Maria throws some paint on Tonys car. Susie leaves the square.

Big whoop.

I suppose the ‘Sean is not the daddy’ storyline was OK but how predictable, Sean wakes up and announces he’s so happy and it’s going to be the best Christmas ever and you know it’s all about to go Pete Tong.

Stupidest moments? Sean randomly asking Jack if he is the daddy, because he just happened to be there at that point…and what do you know, Jack is the daddy and Sean works this out from his reaction. Duurrrr.

Also the fact that five people were quite happy to be running around and jumping on the frozen lake in Emmerdale, but then suddenly when Victoria threw the necklace on it everyone was freaking out and calling her an idiot and crawling along the ice to try and get it back!

Over all the Christmas soaps this year only score a 5/10!

Neighbours was cracking me up last week. Along with an updated title sequence that gives away several future story lines (You put Toadie with Callum and Nicola…we know it doesn’t work out with him and Steph, duh!), we were introduced to a new set — The Gym — nothing funny about that, what is funny is the amount of times it got used.

On Friday Libby was there on three separate occasions in just one episode. Suddenly and inexplicably the students of Erinsborough High have started having their PE classes there. Bridget got a job there, which is a great excuse to have Steve, Miranda and Declan popping along every five minutes and I am sure that Dan actually lives there.

Ok Ok we get that it cost you money to build a new set, but come on now, I am already sick of the sight of it!

So, who was it exactly that ran over Max Branning and left him for dead?

Who cares!

This storyline has been done to death already, and not just in serial ‘Whodunit’ offender Eastenders. It’s not new, it’s not exciting, it’s not different and it’s not clever.

On top of that add the fact that Max Branning is a completely unlikeable character who garners no sympathy. Every one who is in the frame had rhyme, reason and motive to want him dead and the only question I have is — Why couldn’t they have succeeded?

I will be glad when this storyline is over and done with.

After writing in the last entry that I don’t like medical based reality shows, I realised I don’t actually like medical shows full stop. Medical soap operas are ten a penny, Casualty, Holby City etc to name but two…and they have never floated my boat. I put this down to the fact they are depressing and I am squeamish, but you know what? That doesn’t make sense, because I love my Cop shows…which are just as gory and depressing.

Police Camera Action, Traffic Cops, Cops with Cameras — you name it, if it’s a cop show I can’t get enough. I am forever watching reruns of these shows that seem to air constantly on obscure cable channels in the wee small hours of the morning.

My conclusion/Explanation for liking one and not the other? I don’t have one. Hmm.

So Stacey and Bradley broke up, again. What’s new?

I couldn’t believe my ears a few weeks ago when I realised that Stacey is only meant to be around 18 or 19.

How many 18/19 year olds do you know that have been married, divorced, remarried, had several affairs including one with her husbands father, had one abortion and is already trying again?

Mind you, this is soap land. I must remember that…in soap terms that’s actually a pretty quiet 4 years.

In other tonights Eastenders news…what was with that Ronnie and Christian dance? Were they trying to be ironic? Back story, it’s school reunion time, Ronnie doesn’t want to go because she wasn’t popular school, Christian convinces her to go and pretend he’s her husband, off they pop, song comes on that poor old unpopular Ronnie would never have dared dance to back in the day — cue Christian leading her onto the dance floor for some seriously cheesy and Dirty Dancingesque moves…that everyone else in the place deems fit enough to stand around in a circle clapping and cheering at.

Please.